Almost a year ago I made a mistake. A grave, horribly stupid and never-to-be-repeated-if-I-value-my-life mistake.
I forgot Valentine’s Day.
Actually I didn’t really forget. I sort of ignored it. I brushed it aside. I believed my significant other when she said, “Valentine’s Day doesn’t really matter. It’s just a gift-giving holiday that retailers have conjured up as a way to get us to spend our money. It’s amateur night. So don’t worry about getting me anything, hon.” Yeah right. I believed her. And then I went out for drinks and dinner. With friends.
AND I WILL BE MAKING UP FOR THIS MISTAKE FOR THE REST OF MY DAYS.
As part of my eternal redemption program, I’ve been tasked with delivering you fellows out there a word of warning as a way to avoid a similar fate. #1: Don’t forget Valentine’s Day. Hint: It’s February 14th. And it matters. A LOT. #2: Gifts go a looooong way – but only if said gift makes into the hands of your loved on Valentine’s Day. NEVER after. By then it’s too late and you’re just groveling. #3: No matter WHAT she says – V-Day matters. Never ever believe any woman that waves it off as a frivolous pseudo-holiday. Never buy into her claims that “its not really important.” My advice: Believe the marketing and retail hype. Worship those advertisements for chocolates, roses and diamonds like a new-found religion – or sacrifice dearly at its alter later.
So guys, this year I’m dedicating myself to delivering a solution to the V-Day question. And it involves not just the requisite box of chocolates – but wine. Not port or sweet, fortified wine – dry wine.
Now – the idea of pairing chocolate and wine seems like a natural one. But while the idea may seem obvious, the practice can be a tricky. Because different wines with different chocolates can produce wildly different results. And while variety is the spice of life, it can sometimes make pairing recommendations complicated, unfathomable and perplexing.
Wait – are we talking about pairing chocolate with wine, or about women…?
Stay on target, Mike. So, what makes the pairing of Wine and Chocolate so difficult?
To start: Sugar. The sugar in chocolate can highlight the acid of a particularly high-acid wine, making its brightness seem almost sharp. At the same time, sugar can make a low-acid wine seem surprisingly muted and flat.
Another contributor: Texture. Chocolates range in mouth feel – on one end of the spectrum are ultra-rich, creamy and sweet textures found in milk chocolates. On the other end are bittersweet notes with high cocoa flavors. One side for rich and buttery – the other side for intensity, denisty and bitterness.
And to make things more complicated, chocolate is more than sweet and textural. It is also often bitter, acidic and fruity.
What this all means is that any dry wine (as opposed to a sweet dessert wine) selected to pair with chocolate needs to match the intensity of that chocolate in order to stand up to it. A white, rosé or light red wine won’t taste like anything when paired with a high-quality chocolate bar. In this case the yin:yang approach doesn’t work. Think of it as pairing two equally humorous, equally intellectual, or equally athletic people. You know they will have something in common. It’s the same in the case of chocolate and wine – like marries like. This is one of those examples where opposites typically do not attract.
If you’re starting with the wine, the best suggestion is look for fruity, intense, highly tannic reds. The stronger the chocolate, the more full-bodied the wine should be. Similarly, if you are starting with the chocolate, you’ll find that dark, bitter chocolates offer a greater number of pairing options than creamy milk chocolate. *Note: when it comes to superrich, decadent chocolate desserts – don’t ever attempt a dry wine pairing. These desserts are much too sweet and will cause your wine to fall like lead on the tongue. For the depraved death-by-chocolate experience, avoid any dry wine (red or otherwise) and opt instead for a sweet, full and berry-rich port as your best path to satisfaction.
A few general rules to follow:
· The chocolate should never be sweeter than the wine. The darker and more bitter the chocolate, the better its toasty, roasted notes will fare against a red wine.
· Ports and late-harvest reds tend to stand best alongside chocolates and chocolate desserts.
· Overall, the best wines for chocolate are mostly golden brown, instead of deep red. Think raisins instead of grape jelly.
· Finally: Buy GOOD chocolate, preferably the dark stuff. Chocolate with cacao levels of 60 percent and up will hit the right note.
Here are few pairing suggestions for consideration:
· Reisling pairs well with chocolate + citrus, such as orange infused chocolate, or dipped slices of candied lemon, orange or grapefruit.
· Sparkling rosés add a lovely fizz to chocolate desserts with a tangy edge, such as chocolate cheesecake or dipped strawberries.
· Brachetto is a slightly sweet, sparkling red from Italy that pairs remarkably well with the sweet, creamy tones of milk chocolate.
· Zinfandels have a residual sugar and fruit-forward nature that aligns itself well with less sugary, gooey chocolate desserts. Your best bet with this wine is to make certain that the dessert is more bitter than sweet to achieve a balanced, satisfying combination.
· Ripe American or Australian Cabernet Sauvignons – and even Syrahs and Primitivos – ramp up the intensity of bittersweet chocolate. But don’t try this combination with uber-sweet chocolates, as the wine’s heavy tannins can suddenly turn harsh and astringent when held up against a highly sugared confection.
· A sweeter-than-usual Cabernet Franc coexist well with a moderate to intensely chocolately chocolate – particularly when accompanied by red berries like strawberries or raspberries.
· Try a full-bodied, fortified (port) from Carignan or rich Grenache – specifically Banyuls. Whether paired with a simple flourless chocolate cake or a dark fruit dessert topped with a warm chocolate sauce, the pairing of port is (to many) the perfect wine+chocolate couple. Even port nay-sayers will admit to this heavenly combination.
· Px, with its intense, dried fruit character, is always divine with bittersweet chocolate. This is a downright decadent, sexy coupling – one to be savored slowly.
Although you’d think that wine and chocolate would be an effortless match made in heaven, their individual traits and quirks can make partnership tricky. But with a little searching you can identify the traits of a perfect pairing, and you’ll be on your way to creating a true Power Couple.
To wrap things up, here’s the deal: Guys – even if you decide against the chocolate + wine route, do yourself a favor and buy her SOMETHING. No matter what she says, she wants a display of affection. Why she wants it – not a clue. But we’re not here to analyze. We’re here to maintain the peace and keep things happy and healthy. So whether it be flowers, sexy lingerie or even a stupid stuffed pink monkey that sings “And I Will Always Love You” – get her something. Trust me: anything offered will go a long way towards keeping you out of the doghouse. A doghouse that – once entered – you will never, ever recover.
I speak from experience.
Happy Valentine’s Day!
xoxo - Mike
